Writing has always been my dream. I've never wanted to be anything but a full-time writer (well, aside from the time I wanted to be a velociraptor in third grade, but let's not go there).
But dreams don't put food on the table, so I've had a government job for almost six years. It's stable, has benefits, and also happens to be completely soul-sucking. The work is tedious, repetitive, and unchallenging. There's no opportunity for advancement. I love all my coworkers and am deeply appreciative to have
any job in this economy, but who wants to live life like that?
Now, I've been doing better at writing these days. For the last three months, I've made enough money to pay the mortgage (and then some). I'm not Amanda Hocking, John Locke, or any of the other roaring indie successes, but I'm paying the bills. And while three months isn't enough to say, "Yes! This is it! I've finally made it!" I feel like I could publish more projects and help that income grow if I had more time.
This has recently become a viable option, since The Hubs has a full-time job now, and makes enough to pay the bills. We've been on one income since 2009, but we always said that once he had a job I would quit and go to college. Since then, we've bought a house and a baby, and we've grown
very used to this stability, so it's scary and uncertain now.
But if I don't quit, my husband doing all this work means he won't be able to watch the Helpful Baby nearly as much, so I won't be able to write/publish as much either. :(
So here are the options:
Keep my Real Job
- Have stability
- Keep employer-paid health insurance
- LOTS OF MONEY
- Write less :(
- Only see my husband on weekends :(
Quit my Real Job
- No stability
- Continue to be semi-poor (what else is new?)
- Write more! :D
- Go to college! :D
- Spend more time with my family!
- Partially rely on unstable writing income (eek)
I know what I
want to do. I'm ready to shed the office job, finish college, live the dream of full-time writerhood, and spend more time snuggling this cute little face:
Of course, with that comes the UNHOLY TERROR of potentially losing all sources of income (husband's restaurant fails! everyone stops buying my books! house goes into foreclosure! zombie apocalypse!).
And yet...
My dream is
right there. Full-time writing. Within my grasp.
It's terrifying and exhilarating and I don't know what to do.
What would you do? Keep the stable job and get pushed further from the dream? Or plunge into it head first?