I suck at being a housewife.

I must say, with no small amount of pride, that I am decent at quite a few things. I have a pretty weird mix of talents.

Everyone knows that I handle 95% of the publishing process on my own: writing, editing, formatting, cover design, promotion, etcetera--with, admittedly, varying results. There's a steep learning curve, but I'm getting better all the time. (The other 5% is the stuff I seriously have to hire out for, like proofreaders.)

But did you know that I play guitar, too? I'm out of practice, but I used to be able to play the entire oeuvre of The White Stripes and The Beatles (which, um, is not really that hard--like maybe five chords--but it sounds totally badass). I've also dabbled in producing electronica. I produced an entire album! And no, you can't hear it. Too embarrassing. I am much better at writing than music. ;)

I also draw. Not spectacularly, but you can tell what I'm trying to illustrate. I used to want to be a comic book artist, so mostly I can draw busty women in impossible poses flying through the air.

Also, girls in earmuffs.

Plus, I took three years of 3D graphic design, and spent one year as a TA, so I know my way around Lightwave.
  
Other interesting and mostly useless talents of mine include video production, video editing, and baking a mean batch of double chocolate chunk cookies.
  
You know what I am not good at?
  
Being a housewife.

Pictured: Not Me.

Despite being able to handle the entire publishing process from start to finish, I simply do not have the mental organization required to run a household. 
  
It's hard!
  
I cannot wrap my brain around the scope of it. Vacuuming, dishes, pulling weeds, keeping up on the laundry (I never have clean clothes), cleaning mirrors and windows, scrubbing toilets... ugh! I know things need to be done, but I never know where to start, and it seems like such a big, impossible job.
  
This didn't used to be a problem, because I have the most amazing husband ever. For the first year of my son's life, The Hubs stayed home and handled all this stuff. Cooking, cleaning, Doing Things In The Yard, being an Awesome Dad, the whole shebang.
  
And it looked so easy. I mean, here I was, going to work in an office for 9 hours a day, and then spending another 4-6 hours writing/publishing on top of that, and what was my husband doing? Playing with a baby and doing the dishes? Get real! Talk about an easy life.

I mean, babies just sleep all day. Right?

Hahahahaha.
  
Well, the tables have turned. Now I'm the one home all night with the baby while The Hubs works.
  
It turns out that staying home is work, and I have a whole new respect for doing the dishes.
  
I'm not sure if it's my depression, or my natural inclinations toward being a giant scatterbrain, but I just can't keep on top of this stuff. I have a chore whiteboard that worked okay for a couple weeks, except that I'm the one assigning myself chores. Considering I'm the weak link in the chain of "running the house," there's a serious problem there.
 
Part of me misses going to the office for nine hours a day, because it least it gave me an excuse to suck at doing chores.
 
But I wouldn't give up being freed from the clock for anything. It's amazing.
 
So I'm staying home. And that means I have to figure out how to wrangle my creative scatterbrain into doing this housewife crap.
 
Which is why I'm here, readers: How the heck do you stay on top of everything? There's got to be some trick to cleaning and stuff, right? Give me your best tips, your favorite websites, whatever. I need to turn from slumpy "sits around in my underwear" Lazy McWriterpants into this: